There must have been something in the transfer water on Merseyside because Everton and Liverpool had diabolical windows. Moises Caicedo’s wasn’t much better.
The winners are here if you want something a little cheerier…
Everton
There is a morbidly humorous paradox to what might be Everton’s final transfer window as a Premier League club for some time. The Toffees got themselves into this situation by consistently spending exorbitant sums stupidly; they must escape it with neither the money nor the pull to bring anyone else on board a sinking ship. Well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions.
It might be that Everton have timed their pathetic haplessness to perfection, at just the moment they could call on Sean Dyche in an act of desperation and he actually picks up the phone. Having proven his alchemy in squeezing the maximum out of precious little at Burnley, the 51-year-old faces arguably the toughest challenge of his career in the short term.
His new employers have done nothing to help him. There are few more damning indictments of a club’s lack of direction, coherent thought, cogent planning and general expertise than entering consecutive mid-season transfer window deadline days under new management. Frank Lampard was appointed on January 31 last year and had Donny van de Beek and Dele Alli frantically bestowed upon him. Dyche took the poison chalice on January 30 and Everton sourced no external antidote.
The sight of Dyche leaving Finch Farm at 9.39pm, with the only hint of Everton signings being the autographs he stopped to give masochistic supporters, was stark. The Toffees end the month weaker than they started it in terms of league position, squad strength and self-esteem, which will happen if you are beaten to the signings of Kamaldeen Sulemana, Dango Ouattara and Georginio Rutter by relegation rivals Southampton, Bournemouth and Leeds respectively, while being turned down by Conor Gallagher and pie-faced by Arnaut Danjuma, before apparently having to wonder whether bringing 33-year-old Andre Ayew in on a free is a worse idea than signing no-one at all.
In this, the highest-spending January transfer window in Premier League history, Everton could not make a single move because their past profligacy and historic negligence hamstrung them to the point of inertia. It’s almost poetic.
Liverpool
The Liverpool machine which could turn a transfer profit on Kevin Stewart, sell Rhian Brewster, Ki-Jana…
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