Chelsea have made some bad signings over the years. That’s what I thought before writing this feature. As it turns out they have made a scarily large amount of absolutely shocking signings. A few players here have zero or no games played for the Blues, while plenty of £20m+ signings have looked extremely out of their depth.
Including their club-record deal and the new faces that have joined in January 2022, here is a ranking of Chelsea’s last 50 signings. It is pretty f***ing bleak.
Joao Felix is the club’s most recent addition, shifting Baba Rahman’s £26m move out. 26,000,000 pounds sterling. Pedro’s is the oldest transfer on this list and will be jettisoned from it if (when) the Blues sign someone else this January.
Prices, as always, are taken from Transfermarkt, who now operate using euros, not pounds, the b***ards.
50) Romelu Lukaku (£99.8m)
The worst of the lot is Chelsea’s record signing. Lukaku was signed off the back of a historic campaign with Inter Milan and hit the ground running with a brilliant performance in his second Blues debut as he made Arsenal defender Pablo Mari look like a little boy.
It then all went a bit Pete Tong. Lukaku did a controversial interview in which he explained how much he loved Inter and how playing under Thomas Tuchel was not what he expected. It was never the same after that. The striker’s performances dipped before he got loaned back to Milan last summer. What a waste of £100m.
49) Kepa Arrizabalaga (£72m)
Kepa has looked alright over the last year or so, but he is still pretty unreliable and looks nowhere near a £72m goalkeeper.
48) Tiemoue Bakayoko (£35m)
Bakayoko was a part of the brilliant Monaco team that reached the semi-finals of the Champions League in 2017. That side was dismantled in the summer that followed with the French midfielder moving to west London, where he struggled to prove he can play football.
47) Danny Drinkwater (£33.5m)
Just a disastrous signing all round. Drinkwater joined a year after N’Golo Kante and had nowhere near the same effect. After poor performances whenever he was given the chance, he was loaned out to Burnley, then Aston Villa, then Turkish side Kasimpasa before joining Championship outfit Reading until the summer of 2022. Drinkwater is currently without a club after his Chelsea contract expired in June.
46) Alvaro Morata (£58m)
This guy has the best agent in football. Him and Roberto Martinez.
45) Michy Batshuayi (£34m)
Scored the…
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