Manchester United won and there’s been some Grade A bollocks written in the aftermath as The Sun goes back to the 1980s.
Pot f***ed
We’re not saying that newspapers are stuck in the 1980s and the only people who buy them are old men who haven’t worked out that you can get news (and tits) on the internet, but this is how Neil Custis started his Sun match report from Old Trafford on Wednesday night:
‘SNOOKER ACE Dennis Taylor celebrated as Manchester United got the big breaks they deserved.
‘Sat next to Sir Alex Ferguson in the Director’s Box the former World Snooker Champion had not seen so much movement from reds since he hung up his cue.’
Which was in 2000. After wining the World Snooker Championship in 1985.
ACE.
Snooker loopy, cnuts are we
But of course Custis was not done there with his red-hot snooker chat that is beloved of all the kids as he write that United ‘could not chalk up a goal’, before observing that ‘it was all the excitement a Whirlwind, Hurricane and Rocket could put together at Old Trafford in what was undoubtedly the best performance under Erik ten Hag since he took charge’.
To utilise another snooker nickname that nobody under the age of 40 will recognise: Interesting.
And so to Ronaldo
Obviously, Custis continues:
‘Watching on as the action unfolded was Cristiano Ronaldo.
‘Well, he watched until he realised he would not be brought on and headed down the tunnel just before the injury time board was held up. OK, there were just a few minutes left but it was not a good look.
‘It is nearly 20 years since he has been left out of a starting line-up in need of goals.’
What the f***? He has literally been on the bench eight times this season. This isn’t even the first time he hasn’t even got on the pitch.
Pesky fact: He’s really not that good anymore.
Take it as Red
Send a Liverpool man to Manchester to cover a brilliant United performance and what do you get from Andy Dunn of the Daily Mirror?
‘That is the point of a Casemiro – do the simple things well and provide a platform for others and give protection for the defence.
‘It is not rocket science.
‘While he might not have been the star man here, his display made Erik ten Hag’s decision not to start him against Manchester City the other week even more unfathomable.’
Where there’s a will, there’s a way to have a pop.
Volume control
By 10am on Thursday morning, obviously the big story was Ronaldo. And on the Mirror website,…
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