Premier League

Ranking every Premier League manager on how they’d fare in a pub brawl

Analysing Richard Keys' strange obsession with Sam Allardyce

Big Sam is back in the dance, returning to the touchline for another tango with a tasty Premier League relegation scrap, this time tasked with steering a desperate Leeds United to survival.

And we mean desperate. It’s 2023 for crying out loud. How does a team coached by Marcelo Bielsa only two years ago get to the point where they’re hitting the Big Sam button so suddenly?

Anyway, deep-rooted issues plaguing a historic English club and creating fascinating discourse about their mismanagement isn’t the important thing here. What matters is that we get down to the important stuff. Real business.

Now that Allardyce is back and order is restored, it’s time to lean into that pie, chips and gravy after a pint vibe that he brings with him, and discuss how each manager in the league would handle themselves if a scrap broke out in the local.

In honour of the relegation man who loves a pint perhaps just as much as he loves percentage football and survival, we’ve ranked all 20 managers currently in charge in England’s top flight, based on how well they’d handle a pub brawl.

This is serious research, by the way. Incredibly pertinent. If your club isn’t being managed by someone who could handle themselves in the boozer, then what’s the point? Pay close attention.

20. Ryan Mason – Tottenham

Given his history with head injuries, Mason has to go last. Not because he’s involved in the brawl and can’t handle himself – if anything, he’s probably up towards the top for resilience.

No. Instead he’s ruled out on medical grounds. Go and sit by the bar, Ryan. Enjoy the swift service and a chat with the bar staff. Maybe even treat yourself to some salted peanuts. ‘Idiots, these lot’ you can hear him mutter. Sensible, is this lad. Been there, done it, got the t-shirt. More worried about the snooker table getting ruined amid the chaos.

19. Frank Lampard – Chelsea

Come on. He’s basically last. Lamps has no chance. Can’t win a game of football and he’s meant to be a manager. Does he stand a chance if a scrap breaks out? No chance. Will come home with two black eyes though and tell the Mrs and his kids that they ‘should’ve seen the other lad’.

Heard it all before, Frank. Can’t kid a kidder. There’s a reason Mason banned you from the snooker team on Tuesdays. Loser.

18. Roy Hodgson – Crystal Palace

Roy Hodgson is 75 years old. Anyone…

Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Football365…