Imagine how amazing it would be if the fastest player from every club in the top four divisions competed against each other to be crowned the fastest of all.
Now imagine if the player who eventually won it did it with a steaming hangover. In 1992, that actually happened.
If it was to happen in such circumstances these days, sports scientists across the country would have a fit. Raymond Verheijen would break Twitter.
But football was very different back in 1992 when League Cup sponsor Rumbelows, an electrical retailer which rivalled Dixons, Currys and Comet – not very successfully, as it turned out – set about finding the fastest player in the four divisions of the Football League.
Rumbelows were serious about it, too. They stumped up a £10,000 cash prize for the winner, which was a huge sum even for the First Division stars, let alone the journeymen in the lower tiers.
To get their hands on the cash, entrants – one from each of the 92 clubs – would have to negotiate their way through one of six regional heats before the winner and runner-up of each heat were joined by the four fastest losers at Wembley.
The sprint semi-finals and final were to be the curtain raiser for the League Cup final between Nottingham Forest and Manchester United.
Just imagine that for a second – instead of the usual pre-match ‘entertainment’ we get nowadays before such games, picture Hector Bellerin, Jamie Vardy and the rest of the country’s quickest footballers sprinting down the side of the pitch before kick-off. It would be sensational.
The grandeur of the occasion, however, did not stop Swansea City’s entrant John Williams turning up with a raging hangover.
Williams, who went on to score the second ever goal in the Premier League seven minutes after the first by Brian Deane, had played 90 minutes for the Swans on the Saturday, scoring in a 1-1 draw at Darlington in Division Three, before making a 230-mile trek via team coach and train down to the Watford Hilton.
Today’s #forgottenfootballer is Swansea, Coventry, Wycombe, Exeter, Cardiff etc Forward John Williams pic.twitter.com/qirR9lgcTW
— Martyn Bishop (@MartynBCFC) May 4, 2013
Rumbelows paid expenses for each finalist and a companion, so Williams took Jon Ford, a team-mate who was celebrating his birthday.
“We had some steak and chips, and because it was Jon’s birthday I said, ‘Come on, let’s celebrate with a couple of…
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