Premier League

Record-breaking pot-dodger Kane still top of Premier League players to win f*** all

Harry Kane is presented with his medal after Tottenham are defeated by Liverpool in the 2019 Champions League final.

Wheeling out the ol’ Harry Kane List for another spin, because a) why not? and b) he’s helped himself to some more individual honours and c) despite Spurs being quite alarmingly sh*t for large parts of this season there remains a non-zero chance he might ruin it all and win something.

Straightforward rules here. It’s not just the big prizes – your Premier Leagues, your Champions Leagues, the World Cups of this… world – we’re talking here about any trophy. Won a League One title when you were 17? Disqualified. A Turkish Cup? Barred. Toulon glory with England younglings? You my friend are not welcome here.

 

10) Nick Pope
We figured we had to get a Newcastle player in there, and that meant either Nick Pope or Allan Saint-Maximin. Everyone else has either won something – however small – or just not been around long enough to really qualify. Pope’s longevity gets him the nod. He’s 30 years old and been on a marvellously circuitous route to Premier League and England acclaim having been released by Ipswich at 16 and then gone out on loan not once, not twice but eight times during his six years on Charlton’s books before a move to Burnley and an injury to Tom Heaton would change his life.

He’s now well into his fifth season as a reliably consistent Premier League goalkeeper who always comes out near the top of the charts for such old-fashioned goalkeeping metrics as ‘shots saved’ and now finds himself in on the ground floor with the chance to do something special in the Newcastle revolution.

For now, though, his trophy cabinet contains only individual honours. Given his well-travelled career, it’s quite something that he’s never picked up something, somewhere. He did land a place in the 2019/20 Premier League PFA Team of the Year, which is no mean feat given the competition between the sticks, as well as a couple of Burnley player of the year awards and two of the five new-fangled Premier League save of the month gongs handed out this season.

As for his England goalkeeping mates, both Jordan Pickford and Aaron Ramsdale are ruled out of contention here by Toulon success, although both await a first club pot. Don’t think we’re speaking out of turn by suggesting Ramsdale looks the likelier to put that to bed some time soon.

 

9) Trevor Sinclair
The recipient of 150 hours of unpaid work, a driving disqualification and a £500 fine for calling a police officer a “white c***” in 2018, Trevor Sinclair never actually won a…

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