Nobody really cares about Manchester City but a Manchester United owned by Qatar? Now that we can really get on board with…
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Imagine Silence Of The Lambs without Hannibal
The Premier League needs a club we can all passionately hate.
It needs an all-powerful villain that people actually care about. Whether loving or viscerally hating. A villain whose triumphs actually cause rage and whose defeats feel like sheer joy.
That’s not Manchester City, because literally no-one cares about them. At all. They fraudulently stole titles and players but no-one really cared because it was so transparently false and tainted. When they fail it’s mildly amusing, when they win no-one cares. Even Aguerrrrooooooo was entirely about United losing, not City winning.
It’s not Liverpool, because if they were a dog they’d be trembling and shivering on ancient stick thin rickety legs, pleading with clouded painfilled eyes to be taken behind the wood shed and mercifully shot. That’s not hate, it’s mildly disgusted pity.
It’s not Arsenal. They’re London Napoli, they might win an occasional title on an upswing but they’re not going to be a long-term force to hate and fear.
It’s not Chelsea, they’re just a more dislikeable Man City. No-one cares except Fulham fans and any minority group sat next to John Terry.
It’s not Newcastle, an actual football club with actual fans that just happens to have the absolute worst choice in controlling boyfriends/owners/pimps. They aren’t ever going to win titles in any case, every other Premier League club also has money and no other Premier League has to try and persuade players to live in Newcastle rather than London or Manchestpool. They aren’t a threat, and their fans make them fun rather than scary.
It’s really not Spurs.
It’s Manchester United, that’s the supervillain.
The problem is, it’s difficult to hate this Man Utd. You feel that under Ten Hag and with Rashford, Eriksen, Varane, Casemiro and Martinez they’re.. likeable. They’re charming rogues so even if you want to hate them you can’t help but sneakily enjoy them, like Liverpool under Benitez and then Rodgers.
With the Glazers sucking the life out of the club they also generate reluctant sympathy.
This cannot stand. The Premier League needs a powerful club we all passionately hate or passionately love, with no neutrality. Where every match against them feels electric, whoever you support, where you…
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