Spare a thought for the police and emergency services priming themselves for the biggest night of the year.
Across the United Kingdom, millions of people are donning their finest garms and necking a bottle of Echo Falls in preparation for New Year’s Eve and the celebration of surviving another year on our decaying planet.
While many wise people have pinpointed December 31 as the most underwhelming night of the year, others will indulge in endorphin-boosting substances to mark the beginning of 2023.
And, to make it worse, the police are already stretched after being called to the South Coast to investigate the most audacious mugging in living memory.
The perpetrator was a young Norweigan by the name of Martin Odegaard, proud captain of the Premier League leaders and enjoying the best season of his career.
Odegaard was on the recieving end of praise from Arsene Wenger recently, who said: “I was worried for Martin [at Real Madrid]. I thought he lost some of his creative attitude. The creativeness stagnated.
“After he came to Arsenal he has regained his creativity. He plays fantastically well and masters every aspect of the game.”
And, on the evidence of this 4-2 victory at Brighton, Odegaard has mastered the art of making opposition defenders look very silly indeed.
The 24-year-old combined with Gabriel Martinelli and Oleksandr Zinchenko in a free-jazz interpretation of foreplay to tease an opening in the Brighton defence.
Eventually, Martinelli fired a pass into Odgaard’s feet and travelled forward for the return more in hope than expectation. This would turn out to be a fatal underestimation of his team-mate.
As two defenders loomed, hoping to snatch the ball with the ease of taking candy from a baby, the Arsenal captain managed to drag the ball back and whip it through the feet of Lewis Dunk.
Happily, Dunk was able to wipe the egg from his face in time to see Martinelli squander the opportunity. The damage to his professional pride may take longer to heal.
This nutmeg by Odegaard was crazy! #afc pic.twitter.com/33XNot1W33
— Dylan (@Dsaunders_sj) December 31, 2022
Odegaard is Arsenal’s top scorer in the Premier League this season with seven goals and five assists in 15 games – but Arteta believes he can still improve. “He can be much better,” his manager said earlier this week.
“Physically he can improve in many areas. The way he can drive with the ball and eliminate people, his crossing, his passing range, can still be…
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