Premier League

Boro should sign the National League Erling Haaland

Macaulay Langstaff celebrates

Macaulay Langstaff could be a title-winning top goalscorer at two different clubs in consecutive seasons. The National League Erling Haaland is coming.

 

Who’s this then?
Macaulay Langstaff is a 25-year-old, 5ft 8ins Stockton-on-Tees-born centre-forward, currently playing for Notts County in the National League.

I don’t normally feature players in the fifth tier; what’s so special about this lad? His 21 goals this season have led to him being called the National League Erling Haaland – though maybe Haaland should be called the Premier League’s Langstaff as the Notts County striker has scored more league goals than the Norwegian, more league goals than anyone else in the whole of the UK and more than anyone in almost all leagues across Europe this season. The boy is a bit special.

He started his career at the glamorous Billingham Synthonia in the 10th tier of English football. The Synners have a long history dating back to 1923, so next year is their 100th anniversary. They must be one of the few, if only, clubs to be named after a portmanteau word derived from ‘synthetic ammonia’ which was made for fertiliser at the local ICI plant where their ground was initially located; it has shifted around a few times since and currently reside in Stokesley, 15 miles to the south.

Incidentally, the Alan Parsons Project’s album ‘Ammonia Avenue’ was inspired by the same chemical plant and the cover art by the physical structure of the place, which basically looked like the intestines of a massive robot.

As is the way down in the boondocks, he flitted around clubs, often on loan, playing for Gateshead, being loaned back to the Synners, then onto Blyth Spartans for a month, back to Gateshead again, then onto York City and back at Gateshead in August 2020.

Last season he scored 30 goals in 47 games and made at least eight assists, driving Gateshead’s title win in the National League North. He was the league’s top scorer and that made him of interest to other clubs. Notts County turned up with a credit card with a £50k limit, handed it over, hoped it wouldn’t be declined and took the Teessider back to Nottingham.

He hit the ground running and his 21 goals in 21 games have put County at the top of the National League.

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