The worst football films – ranked

It’s very rare to dislike a football film if you’re a football fan. In truth, it’s an impressive achievement for any filmmaker to make that happen.

And while it may pain us to switch off a film that even features a leather sphere, a select few have managed to make football films so bad that there’s no other option – for every Goal!, you can dig out a Goal! II.

Here, 90min have ranked some of the worst football films ever created.

Please bear in mind that this list is based on opinion although, unlike our list of best football films, if you’re not expecting to find Green Street on it…come on.

It’s not terrible enough to go anywhere near basement spot, however.

In fairness, Green Street is actually fairly enjoyable to watch, but mostly because of poor acting, over-dramatization and that rendition of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.

As we’re taken on the journey of a naive journalism major’s emersion into the West Ham firm (sort of), all we really learn from the film is that Elijah Wood can’t act hard, Charlie Hunnam sounds Danish when putting on an east-end accent and that it’s incredibly easy to romanticise football hooliganism.

So, while it’ll always be a guilty pleasure, there’s no other place for Green Street than on the worst-ever football films’ list.

Talking of guilty pleasures, Mike Bassett: England Manager could quite conceivably be dragged onto the list of best football films ever made.

The classic spoof-mockumentary’s plot, however, surrounds the reign of Mike Bassett (played by Ricky Tomlinson) as Three Lions boss and his journey to taking the nation to a World Cup semi-final via a litany of gags you might find your dad saying and inside jokes that, if you’re not a football fan, you’ll probably be left bemused at.

Even with immortalised jokes such as the one involving two Third Division strikers and a packet of Benson and Hedges cigarettes, the cheap caricature-littered Mike Bassett: England Manager has to find itself on this list.

Vinnie Jones has proven to be just as terrifying on-screen as he was on-field but, after early performances in the likes of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, the 2001 film Mean Machine was a bit disappointing.

Playing disgraced international footballer Danny…