Premier League

A Premier League XI of players who didn’t make the planes

Firmino Digne De Gea

These guys won’t be going to the World Cup and can instead put their feet up by the fire watching many of their club team-mates slugging it out in 35 degree heat. Doesn’t sound so bad.

Here are the 831 players that are going and here’s an XI of Premier League players that have been left behind (yes, we’re playing a diamond midfield and no, we don’t really have a right-back)…

 

GK: David De Gea
Manchester United’s player of the season hasn’t played for his country for over two years with Unai Simon of Athletic Bilbao the No.1 and fellow Premier League stoppers Robert Sanchez and David Raya getting the nod ahead of him.

Asked to explain De Gea’s omission, Spain boss Luis Enrique said: “A goalkeeper should start the play and generate the first superiority. I need a goalkeeper that transmits peace and calmness to me.” Loosely translated: De Gea is sh*t with his feet.

 

RB: Sven Botman
Arguably the key component of a back four that’s conceded the fewest goals in the Premier League this season, the Netherlands must have some bloody good centre-backs for Louis van Gaal to leave Botman out of the squad. And fair enough, Virgil van Dijk, Stefan de Vrij, Mathijs de Ligt and Nathan Ake is a pretty extraordinary group.

Newcastle are comfortably the best off of any of the clubs vying for a top four finish with just five of their players heading to Qatar, and two of the England lads unlikely to play much, if at all.

 

CB: Gabriel Magalhaes
Yet to be capped by Brazil, Gabriel would be wise to meddle with Thiago Silva’s medication. The Arsenal defender couldn’t have done much more to catch Tite’s eye this season, but like Botman, he’s got stiff competition for his place with Marquinhos, Eder Militao and Bremer ahead of him in the pecking order.

 

CB: Joel Matip
Citing the chaos in the Cameroon Football Federation (FecaFoot), Matip retired from international football in 2017 but wanted to return to his national side ahead of Qatar. Legendary striker and famously spiky character Samuel Eto’o, who now heads FecaFoot, vehemently blocked the Liverpool star’s return saying, “This is a national team, we don’t tolerate people who think they are Special Ones.”

 

LB: Lucas Digne
Digne’s young son and daughter were videoed dancing around and singing “daddy he stays with us” in French after it was announced the left-back wouldn’t be going to the World Cup, which was presumably 80 per cent adorable and 20 per cent galling…

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