We expect Erling Haaland to join or even top this list within a season or two, but for now we are ranking Premier League goalscorers by the only statistic that matters – not total goals (that rewards longevity) but minutes per goal. Obviously we are only including prolific goalscorers.
10) Alan Shearer (147 minutes per goal)
He might have scored more Premier League goals than any other striker in Premier League history but too many single-figure seasons for Newcastle United keep him down this list. He actually *only* scored goals at the same rate as Chicharito and Daniel Sturridge, though he can take some comfort from being ahead of his old mate Michael Owen (154 minutes per goal).
9) Diego Costa (146 minutes per goal)
A genuine danger of him slipping right off this list the more he plays for a toothless Wolves side in his dotage. But for Chelsea he was phenomenal, pretty much from the get-go, a maelstrom of sh*thousing and absolutely ruthless finishing. He scored 52 goals in 89 Premier League goals and then Antonio Conte basically told him to f*** off by text message. Oh Antonio.
8) Edin Dzeko (142 minutes per goal)
Manchester City have made some excellent transfer decisions but signing Wilfried Bony and forcing out Dzeko was absolutely not one of them. Little over a year later he was the Serie A top scorer as he showed exactly what he can produce when not reduced to being a very good team’s third-choice striker.
7) Robin van Persie (140 minutes per goal)
A great goalscorer and a scorer of great goals, which is not true for everybody on this list, Van Persie started slowly at Arsenal but then became a back-to-back Golden Boot winner, first with the Gunners and then with Manchester United, who he casually joined just to win a Premier League winner’s medal. In hindsight, absolutely fair play.
6) Luis Suarez (139 minutes per goal)
A wonderful player but a questionable human being, which makes it really quite funny that he scored 69 goals in 110 Premier League games for Liverpool in three years and left with nothing more than a League Cup medal won on penalties against Cardiff City.
5) Mo Salah (132 minutes per goal)
The only man on this list who does not largely play as an out-and-out striker, though nobody is expecting him to help out his full-back too much from his nominal position on the right. Three Golden Boots (two shared) in five full seasons at Liverpool is a phenomenal record that probably should have reaped more than one…
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