Nunez issues horrifying, ominous Liverpool message and Zaha clearly ‘ruined’ his career

Perhaps Darwin Nunez did intend to headbutt Joachim Andersen after all. The Liverpool striker has issued an ominous remorseless message.

Elon story short
Mediawatch has a game for you: guess when The Sun website makes the already obvious – that Elon Musk isn’t buying Manchester United – expressly clear instead of pretending it might actually happen?

Here is their first paragraph:

‘ELON MUSK has dropped another bombshell – claiming he’s buying Manchester United.’

Some of us are old enough to remember when Elon Musk dropped a bombshell about buying Twitter. Oh, those halcyon days.

And these billion-pound transactions don’t tend to take place over social media but that’s for another time.

Anyway, how much further does Sunni Upal get into the story before referencing Musk’s follow-up tweet about it being part of ‘a long-running joke’?

First, we have to wade through responses from Piers Morgan and a Manchester United fan on Twitter claiming that Musk’s initial message was ‘a legally binding intent to purchase’.

That’s it. Get the important stuff in.

And then finally, buried as deep as the 14th paragraph, it is clarified that ‘hopes of having the outspoken billionaire were soon dashed when he claimed he had no intention of taking charge of the club’.

They were soon dashed alright. But this absolute sh*thouse of a story is intent on dragging it out.

Best served chilled
While those in the know realise that Darwin Nunez’s only crime against Crystal Palace was to turn around too quickly – or, in the words of Dietmar Hamann, “it wasn’t even a headbutt, he just walked into the defender” – it is important to move on, accept the decision and look forward.

The Sun website have absolutely nailed it in that regard with this:

‘Nunez breaks silence after headbutt shocker with chilling warning to Prem’

‘Breaks silence’ is a tick. ‘Shocker’ is a tick. ‘Chilling warning’ is a big old tick.

That last one is particularly intriguing. Has he told Conor Coady that he’s next? Has he pledged to continue turning around really fast and explained that it’s now the fault of all centre-halves if they get hit, ala Bart and Lisa Simpson? Exactly what is this ‘chilling warning’?

‘I am aware of the ugly attitude I had. I’m here to learn from my mistakes and it won’t happen again. Apologies to Liverpool all. I’ll be back.’

That is positively stone f**king cold. Be careful out there, Premier League…