Will Manchester United fans continue to drink from the pot the Glazers p*** in?

Sell.

Everyone.

That’s what Manchester United need to do.

It is the only way to muck out the stables and start again from scratch. There isn’t a single player in that first team that should be
excused from the cull. They’re a rag-bag of poorly assembled footballers. Some are just nowhere near good enough, some have been good but no longer are and others have talent but are so devoid of confidence and surrounded by so much rottenness that they have been dragged down into the boondocks with the rest of the rubbish.

So clear them all out. Pay out the contracts of those you can’t sell, cancel the contracts of those who won’t go and let the lawyers sort it out. When all the income and expenditure is added up it won’t be any more wasteful than their current regime which has thrown away a billion pounds on the team and continues to pay the current crop of underperformers over £200 million in wages every year.

Early loser: The unsavable, braindead Man Utd, already killing off another manager

Just get rid of all these expensively acquired assets. Yes, you’ll lose money on them but you’ve wasted and lost money on players for years now. Everyone knows it is massively needed because right now nothing works, the pieces of the jigsaw don’t just fit together, they are all from a different puzzle. Fans would love it. Go on, all of you. Out!

But this alone will not reboot Manchester United. They also need to get rid of the backroom staff, every single executive and, of course, defenestrate the ghastly owners. And while they are at it, they might as well burn down the crumbling edifice that is Old Trafford as well, reduce it to smouldering ashes, let the flames purify the ground and build a pure new stadium for a pure new era.

…Okay, okay, you can wake up now. That’s just a cheese dream.

But the fact is, this isn’t something that can be addressed just by buying a couple of players, they’ve tried that time and again, spent
fortunes doing so. A wholesale revolution is needed to correct all the problems that have become endemic over the last 10 years, probably longer. It turns out that Jose Mourinho wasn’t bullshitting in saying finishing second with Manchester United was one of the best achievements of his career. This team looks more like relegation fodder than title challengers.

But even a substantial clearout of playing staff, which is very, very badly needed, will be no good if the same people are in charge, because the same sins will be…