These aren’t necessarily the biggest spenders, just the most conspicuously wasteful transfer splurges of recent Premier League years, whether that money came from a huge transfer windfall that sent a club giddy or from kindly owners just happy to be helping a vital community asset be all it can be. Pretty much all transfer fees mentioned have an element of guesswork involved thanks to your undiscloseds and your exchange rates and your add-ons, but are based on figures widely quoted at the time of the transfers in question.
10. Chelsea 2020 – £222.3m
(Kai Havertz – £72m, Timo Werner – £47.7m, Ben Chilwell – £45m, Hakim Ziyech – £36m, Edouard Mendy – £21.6m)
It’s a good one this, because it’s both an absurd summer of spaffing that in textbook fashion contributed to a manager failing to see out the year but also produced a season where one of those overpriced signings scored the winning goal in the Champions League final. Classic slice of Chelsea nonsense that, and in many ways being bad enough for scales to fall from eyes and Frank Lampard removed from office at a club that might not always have managers for very long but should at the very least have proper, qualified ones was actually a good thing too. Mendy for £21.6m is clearly terrific business but gets only partial credit because it was still money chucked at a self-imposed problem after dropping three-and-a-half times that on Kepa the year before. This is the ultimate “pulled a Homer” of summer transfer windows.
9. Manchester United 2019 – £143.8m
(Harry Maguire – £78.3m, Aaron Wan-Bissaka – £49.5m, Daniel James – £16m)
Not the worst on this list, but it will never not be hilarious that United spent such an eye-watering sum of money on Maguire and Wan-Bissaka, who are both perfectly fine footballers who didn’t deserve to be saddled with the pressure of such absurd price tags. Maguire is close to a figure of fun these days, which feels a bit unfair, while Wan-Bissaka is now roughly 12th in the admittedly stacked pecking order of English right-backs. United did also sign Bruno Fernandes the following January making the season’s transfer business as a whole resemble some kind of anarchic attempt at debunking once and for all the idea that summer is the time for sensible business and January is the month of nonsense. Until you remember they also spent £10m that winter loaning Odion Ighalo.
8. Everton 2017 – £129.9m
(Gylfi Sigurdsson – £40m,…
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