Alternative women’s football awards 2022

Football award season is very much like a family Christmas, in that it’s overhyped, full of arguing and you’d much rather be watching Gavin and Stacey than actively participating.

Quit the squabbling over whether Beth Mead or Aitana Bonmati were robbed at this year’s Ballon d’Or, and instead enjoy 90min’s alternative women’s football awards for 2022, where talent is forgotten and we celebrate the absurd, the outrageous and the Arnold Clark.

So sit back and relax as we hand over to our alternative women’s football awards hosts for the evening, Jill Scott and the Euro 2022 trophy, who will run us through our winners.

We’re spoilt for choice when it comes to iconic women’s football images in 2022; Chloe Kelly whipping off her shirt like the west London Brandi Chastain as she celebrated netting the winner in the Euro 2022 final, the USWNT officially signing the equal pay collective bargaining agreement following years of campaigning, and that cat wearing round glasses that looked a bit like Sarina Wiegman.

But there is one, enduring image of 2022 that tops them all.

Ballon d’Or-winning Barcelona playmaker Alexia Putellas sharing the Arnold Clark Cup golden boot with England centre-back Millie Bright.

Which leads us on nicely to our next award…

Choose to sack off the SheBelieves. Choose Middlesbrough. Choose Norwich. Choose Wolverhampton. Choose the Olympic gold medalists. Choose the Ballon d’Or winner. Choose the eight-time European champions. Choose rain. Choose lots of it at Carrow Road. Choose Millie Bright. Choose to chuck her up front when you need a goal in the final 10 minutes. Choose the 2022 Arnold Clark Cup.

Imagine having the cheek to attempt to chip the goalkeeper from the edge of the area in a Manchester derby. Imagine pulling it off and then trying it again, exactly a year later when your team need a goal and you’ve been on the pitch for a full six minutes.

Caroline Weir’s Manchester derby winner in February was simply outrageous.

Weir watching back her derby winner for the first time is also wonderful. She actually winces apologetically at how outrageous it is.