The only time Manchester United have ever suffered through a lower-scoring start to a top-flight season, George Best and Denis Law were two of the club’s only goal-getters.
Erik ten Hag’s sequence of unwanted broken records extends to United’s worst start in Premier League history. The toothless Red Devils head into the second international break of the season slumped in 14th, already trailing Liverpool by a double-digit points tally.
Outside a transfer window, there is no opportunity to buy any more players familiar with the Eredivisie, but there are a few tweaks which could be made to avoid bolstering the long list of historic lowlights.
Ten Hag’s future has been a tedious talking point since he lost his second match in charge of the club to Brentford in humiliating fashion. The private whispers that the hierarchy are keen on keeping the Dutchman are competing for airtime with the rumours of Thomas Tuchel’s impending appointment.
Jonny Evans admitted that the vortex of uncertainty swirling around Ten Hag “does affect the players”, after he shut out the noise to keep a clean sheet against Aston Villa. Whatever decision INEOS make would be better than the deafening silence of continued uncertainty.
Ten Hag had two pictures of Johan Cruyff hanging up on the walls of his office at Ajax. “I apply Cruyff’s ideals in my current work,” the proud Dutchman has insisted – but the performance of his United team flies in the face of everything his compatriot preached.
Cruyff’s footballing philosophy can be boiled down to a pair of simple instructions: make the pitch as big as possible when you have the ball and as small as possible without it. Manchester United somehow conspire to do the exact opposite, offering yawning chasms of open green grass for the opposition to plough through when they mistakenly try to press and drop deep at the same time.
These widening holes appear in midfield – which is why Kobbie Mainoo ages like a president after every 90 minutes spent frantically charging around – but are a consequence of the forwards and defensive rearguard not working in unison. While the frontline halfheartedly presses, a defence not blessed with pace creeps deeper and deeper, stretching the height of the team like an accordion at full expansion.
United are almost more vulnerable when they have…
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