The scenes just before a penalty is taken are football’s closest imitation of a medieval duel.
On one side, we have the penalty taker. The champion. Desperately trying to appear cool, calm and collected. Thousands of hours of practice with the singular task of making his next task as automatic as brushing his teeth. All the pressure on his shoulders.
On the other side, we have the goalkeeper. The challenger. An alluring mix of bravado and bullshit. Willing to resort to any level to distract his opponent, from creative arm gestures to the kind of intense eye contact that’d break the granite soul of Martin Keown.
Karl Hein, the young third-choice goalkeeper at Arsenal, is beginning to grow quite the collection of vanquished opponents. During Estonia’s friendly against Hungary last week, Hein dived low to his right and kept out Roland Sallai’s effort.
In truth, Sallai’s spot-kick was hit with all the pace of an asthmatic tortoise carrying a flatscreen television.
We reckon Hein nuzzled himself inside the subconscious of his opponent beforehand, tormenting the Hungarian with visions of kidnapping his dog or nabbing his protein powder.
“We need a strong goalkeeper. Of course, the others are also strong, but today Hein made great saves and he is our number one,” Estonia coach Thomas Haberli said afterwards. Hein’s international future already looks secure.
Karl Hein’s penalty save for Estonia yesterday. #afc pic.twitter.com/FiBsOliV6C
— DailyAFC (@DailyAFC) March 24, 2023
And the 20-year-old has managed to impress Arsenal supporters during his sporadic appearances this season.
Appearing during a friendly against Lyon in the World Cup break, Hein’s handling and communication suggested he’d be the perfect choice to handle the crown jewels, never mind play in goal for the Premier League leaders.
But his true moment of glory came during the bonus penalty shoot-out, saving four penalties from increasingly distraught Lyon players. Four penalties Karl? Four? That’s insane.
The first was kept out by a right arm stronger than a plank of wood, while the second demonstrated Hein’s cat-like reflexes as he sprung to his right to keep out a fierce effort.
With the souls of his opponents safely in Hein’s back pocket, the result of the final two spot-kicks was inevitable. The first rebounded away like a tennis ball flung at a brick wall, while the final Lyon penalty-taker was spooked into striking the most pathetic Panenka we’ve ever seen.
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