Lethargic Liverpool succumb to yet another bout of Saturday lunchtime fever

Bournemouth were outstanding, but the big question to come from their lunchtime win over Liverpool is why their visitors are *so* inconsistent…

If nothing else, the last six days in football discourse have been fascinating as we’ve all tried to come to terms with a result that still feels so incredible that it might not even have happened. Liverpool 7 Manchester United 0. No matter how many times you re-watch the goals (and the reaction video compilations), it still kind of feels as though it almost didn’t happen. Truly, we live in the strangest timeline.

Of course, a lot had to be said about Manchester United’s reaction to that most unexpected level of defeat, and a pointedly unchanged team responded with a 4-1 win against Real Betis in the Europa League on Thursday night. But what of Liverpool? What happens next when you deliver not just the result of the season, but the result of a lifetime?

Following this up with a Saturday lunchtime trip to the Dorset coast added extra layer upon layer of narrative. After all, Liverpool put nine goals past Bournemouth at the end of August, a record-equalling pummelling which in part led to the sacking of Scott Parker, just four league games after he took them to promotion. With surprising symmetry, Parker was sacked for the second time this season, this time by Club Brugge, as we absorbed the fallout of Liverpool’s latest right hammering.

Liverpool followed up their 9-0 win against Bournemouth by beating Newcastle and they followed up their 7-0 win at Rangers in October by beating Manchester City. But Saturday lunchtimes can have a funny effect on teams, and if you turn up for the early kick-off acting as though haven’t quite yet woken up you can be punatively punished. Liverpool surely knew this going into the match, having played four times previously in Saturday lunchtime kick-offs this season and having won precisely none of them.

Liverpool”s lowest pts/game rates by Premier League kick-off time under Jürgen Klopp (4+ games):

13:30 – 1.63
12:45 – 1.75
12:30 – 1.76

All early kick-off slots… #LFC #BOULIV

— Michael Reid (@michael_reid11) March 11, 2023

So it was that Liverpool found themselves a goal down after almost half an hour, Dango Ouattara breaking on the right and springing a curdled-looking offside trap before crossing for Philip Billing to side-foot in from six yards out. The previous 27 minutes had, somewhat ironically, been fairly bright and open, which had felt as though it…