Some potential punishments are needed for Man City and Guardiola. Bringing back Elano, loaning out Haaland and returning their Carabao ought to teach them.
Manchester City are in a spot of bother and the Premier League can have these penalties free of charge.
10) Everyone gets to loan Erling Haaland for a game
The charges might pertain to the period between 2009 and 2018 but Manchester City’s financial impropriety extended well into 2022 with the £213m signing of Erling Haaland. It really is only fair that each Premier League team gets to borrow him for a game now. The Norwegian has to spend the remainder of the season testing Chelsea’s striker curse, checking Jamie Vardy’s intravenous Red Bull drip, fighting Diego Costa in training and being forced to wear a Chris Wood mask by a lustful Sean Dyche.
9) Manchester City must revert to their most recent pre-charge squad
Another requirement is for the band to be reassembled. The Manchester City which operated under Thaksin Shinawatra’s squeaky clean ownership is the default setting here and the current squad must be replaced by the crop of 2008/09. It means the formidable punditry careers of Micah Richards and Nedum Onuoha are put on hold, Stephen Ireland is welcomed back with open arms, Darius Vassell returns to a reception akin to his Ankaragucu days and Felipe Caicedo reclaims his status as the Premier League’s best Caicedo. Shaun Wright-Phillips and Elano could absolutely still do a job and Vladimir Weiss and Daniel Sturridge are still only 33. That side finishes mid-table at worst, but it is a drastic shame for promotion-chasing Bradford to lose manager Mark Hughes at this juncture. Them’s the rules.
8) Manchester City must face previous title rivals in one-off Winner Takes All games
Kindly laying out the power possessed by the independent commission to which the Premier League has referred the alleged Manchester City breaches, Sky Sports News explained that the club could: be suspended from playing league matches; have points deducted; be expelled; be ordered to pay compensation; have player registrations cancelled. It was added that the commission can ‘make such other order as it thinks fit’, rendering the rest of the list rather redundant, but the most eye-catching sanction went unexplained: ‘recommend to the board that league matches be replayed.’
Am I a Premier League champion ?
— Lucas Leiva (@LucasLeiva87) February 6, 2023
That can obviously mean only one thing:…
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