In 2009, Michael Owen’s management put together a 32-page presentation about their client in order to find him a new club. It was strange.
Charismatic. Stylish. Cool. Clean & Fresh. Those are just four of the 21 key terms used by Wasserman Media Group to describe Michael Owen in the year 2009.
The praise was not given offhand but was part of a calculated attempt to find a new club for the English striker, then 29, who was seeking an exit from relegated Newcastle.
In order to get the word out on Owen’s availability, Wasserman made a 32-page dossier of facts and figures about their client, distributing it to potential suitors.
It made for strange reading. One page was simply a list of adjectives, few of which — with the possible exception of ‘Clean & Fresh’ — accurately described the former Liverpool and Real Madrid footballer.
Elsewhere in the document, professional medical reports came littered with exclamation marks.
Despite the oddities, something worked: shortly after leaving Newcastle, Owen was signed by Manchester United as a replacement (of sorts) for Cristiano Ronaldo.
Now, over a decade later, the brochure remains a fascinating portrayal of an ‘Athlete, Ambassador and Icon’ at a crossroads in his career.
Injuries!
The dossier begins with biographical information about Owen that is factual and uncontroversial. As is the subsequent medical review by physiotherapist John Green… up to a point.
Four pages are given to the expert talking about Owen’s legs — four pages on which myths are debunked and doubters set straight.
“The following are my thoughts on Michael Owen’s so-called ‘injury prone’ status — a statement I consider to be a nonsense!” Green yells.
“His medical issues have more to do with questionable advice, rather than him being an individual susceptible to injury!”
In an attempt to forecast Owen’s future, Green — whose clients also include Miranda Hart and Kit Harington — then uses three sober paragraphs to explain how the striker can avoid injury as long as he follows a particular training regime.
By the end of them, you’ve forgotten those exclamation marks and feel like you really should sign Michael Owen.
The fourth paragraph, however, makes the whole thing a lot less convincing.
“Michael is an exceptional professional and is always diligent and committed when undertaking his programmes,” Green says. “In my opinion, he will play at the highest level for many years — trouble…
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