Hands of God, lobbing Seaman and more

On Saturday England played their 10th World Cup quarter-final, with France joining teams like Uruguay, West Germany, Portugal and of course Argentina in the list of teams standing in the Three Lions’ way.

It’s always a fascinating point in a tournament for England, a country for whom success or otherwise at a major tournament seems to exist along an invisible line between the last eight and the last four. Reaching 10 quarter-finals and progressing from only three marks it as the standard tournament exit point. And England’s long and storied history of brave defeats at this tournament turning point has a new entry. Let’s rank the lot of them, shall we? Even chucking in the three rogue wins for the lols.

10) 2006 World Cup: England 0-0 Portugal (Portugal won 3-1 on pens)
For the third major tournament in a row, Sven-Goran Eriksson’s England were defeated by Luiz Felipe Scolari. First was the 2002 World Cup with Brazil, then Euro 2004 with Portugal on penalties and then this absolute gut-punch.

Back in the days when Cristiano Ronaldo was busier antagonising and disrupting opponents rather than team-mates, The Winker played his part in Wayne Rooney’s sending-off and, although England scrapped and battled their way through a pretty grim encounter to reach penalties, the spot-kicks were a shambles. Portugal won comfortably despite missing two of their own penalties, with Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher all failing from the spot for England.

It was lost on nobody that England’s only successful penalty came from Owen Hargreaves, easily England’s most German player.

9) 1962 World Cup: Brazil 3-1 England
Finishing second to Hungary in the group stage left England with the small matter of Brazil in the last eight. Luckily for England, there was no Pele that day. Unluckily for England, there was Garrincha. Little Bird scored the opening goal, forced the second after a Gerry Hitchens equaliser when his free-kick was parried by Ron Springett for Vava to head home the rebound. Garrincha scored his second and Brazil’s third to seal the deal on the hour. England were brave and game but overpowered by superior etc. and so forth yada yada yada. You know the drill.

8) 2002 World Cup: England 1-2 Brazil
Michael Owen gave England a shock lead against the favourites and eventual champions, but in first-half injury time David Beckham pulled his metatarsal away from a 50-50 and Brazil broke away to equalise through Rivaldo.

Then…