Premier League

Liverpool panic loan among five Premier League summer signings that look a bit pointless

Erling Haaland is substituted for Kalvin Phillips

Leicester are ruining third-choice keepers and the latest Liverpool panic signing ranks above Ben Davies but still far behind Steven Caulker.

 

Alex Smithies (Leicester)
The entire premise of a third-choice goalkeeper is that it’s the only part of the elite squad building process during which you can have actual fun – within the established parameters. Teams have two options: the more boring but functional and perfectly acceptable young academy product who gains valuable experience training with the senior side while not actually threatening to play; or the seasoned, grizzled veteran whose season comprises of an early-round League Cup appearance or random midweek rotational start which sets the fanbase ablaze with childlike exhilaration.

The latter route is obviously the most fun but the key is in how that player is picked. The experienced third-choice goalkeeper has to be mid-30s with a greying beard, at least 20 or so Premier League appearances years ago and a handful of early to mid-2000s England call-ups.

Alex Smithies is too young (32), too fresh-faced, has never played in the top flight and is without Three Lions recognition under a manager who once named Marcus Bettinelli in his squad. Leicester are doing it all wrong. They’ve ruined it. And the only way they can rescue this is to coax Ben Foster out of retirement and into fulfilling his late career destiny of doing training drills and sitting on a bench up to twice a week in between his YouTube videos.

 

Arthur Melo (Liverpool)
The spectre of Ben Davies has already been shrugged off. The almost sacrificial 13 minutes given to Arthur Melo during the Champions League defeat to Napoli means it has not been another completely forgettable and avoidable waste of everyone’s time at Liverpool. But the Brazilian midfielder has some catching up to do on Steven Caulker.

That Jurgen Klopp described the Napoli loss as “the worst game since I’ve been here” is instructive. Arthur was thrown in at that deep but meaningless end and stayed afloat. He played no part of the subsequent Ajax win, which Thiago, Fabinho and Harvey Elliott started and James Milner and Stefan Bajcetic were later introduced to.

Getting up to Premier League pace is one thing but Arthur has the requisite European experience to suit his game, yet he has still been overlooked by a Liverpool manager who simply wanted more injury-prone bodies in midfield rather than the 26-year-old specifically.

There is a reason Klopp has…

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