Is it Piers Morgan or ‘woke wastrels’ threatening to destroy England victory?

Join us as a man tells us what ‘actual women’ are and why those ‘actual women’ are proud to be women again because of what the England women achieved. What a prick.

So you watched England win the European Championship with a performance of skill, grit and no little shit-housing. What’s your first thought?

If it’s this…

‘Our Lionesses have restored pride in being female…don’t let woke wastrels destroy their victory’

…then congratulations for you are Piers Morgan and you are a) rich but also b) a massive prick.

First, let’s address that headline. We appreciate that Morgan did not write it so our ire is directed towards whichever man did. A man? Can we assume that? God yes. Because no woman would ever write ‘female’ (massive red flag) and no woman has been wandering around not feeling proud to be a woman and waiting for a group of women they have never met to make them feel proud.

But who better to tell us what females/women actually think than a middle-aged man? If in doubt about how you feel or should feel, women of Britain, ask a man. Preferably a middle-aged man. Preferably a middle-aged, white, straight, middle-class man. He will know.

So has Morgan been sold a pup by the headline-writer? Has he balls. If anything, he wants to go further…

*NEW COLUMN*
Now the fabulous Lionesses have restored pride in being female – don’t let biology-denying women-bashing woke wastrels ruin the victory. 👇👇https://t.co/Y8LQKlOOw4

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) August 1, 2022

Who the f*** are these ‘biology-denying women-bashing woke wastrels’ who are threatening to destroy this great victory? Mediawatch has encountered only praise and positivity, but perhaps we have not been hanging out with woke wastrels. Which is odd because we do bloody love a woke wastrel.

So to the column itself. Strap in.

‘AMAZING, isn’t it?

‘All it took to stop the insane war on women was for a bunch of women to become the most successful footballers this country has produced since 1966.’

We hate to interrupt so quickly but where is this ‘insane war on women’ being waged? We know that some women are subjected to abuse, threats and subjugation by some men, but we didn’t know an actual war had been declared.

Obviously we are being facetious; we know that actually Morgan is referring to an entirely confected ‘war on women’ that is relevant to a tiny percentage of people in this country who are obsessed with the biology of women…