England have a long and chequered relationship with the World Cup but they arguably haven’t scored many great goals in the competition.
Michael Owen’s solo effort against Argentina in 1998, featuring the sight of a petrified Roberto Ayala with a trickle of urine down his leg as Owen sped past him, cannot go unmentioned.
Bobby Charlton’s ’66 clincher against Portugal was pretty good too. And Raheem Sterling was responsible for a million spilt pints, and the sacking of the BBC scoreboard operator, with his spectacular almost-goal against Italy in 2014.
But England have traditionally huffed and puffed on the world stage, replacing inspiration with perspiration and suffering the consequences. Blood, sweat, tears and watching some skilful set of foreigners make off with the prize.
Joe Cole was different. His dipping volley against Sweden at the 2006 finals, arguably the best goal scored by England at any World Cup, was an ode to his immense talent.
Cole’s technically-brilliant strike, bringing the ball down on his chest before lashing his shot beyond Andreas Isaksson, produced an incredulous shriek from Clive Tyldesley.
It was something you’d expect to see from Brazil or Argentina. Not, with the greatest respect, from an England team that negotiated that World Cup with the finesse of a hippopotamus in an apple bobbing competition.
16 years ago today, @Carra23 had a go at giving Sweden’s back four the slip (didn’t quite come off), England lumped one into the box, and Joe Cole eventually took matters into his own hands. pic.twitter.com/jOorZZ03Jz
— MUNDIAL (@MundialMag) June 20, 2022
“I didn’t realise how far out it was at the time,” Cole said in 2018. “It was just before half-time and, when it is that close to half-time, you want them to go in or in the stands because you don’t want to give them the chance to break away.
“I’m not renowned for shooting from distance but I just hit it and it dipped at the last moment. I’m very proud of that goal, just disappointed we didn’t go on to win the game.”
England had already qualified for the knockout stages and, free of the monstrous pressure that accompanied them to Germany that year, produced their only highlights-reel moment of the entire World Cup.
It was also a fleeting glimpse of something else; the impish maestro with “the skills of a Brazilian,” according to Pele, that could leave opponents with twisted blood and gaping jaws.
And the player, having signed for…
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