Early June is the best time to predict which exciting transfer rumours are likely to drag on all summer and quickly become incredibly boring.
10) Yves Bissouma to Aston Villa
Look, someone has to sign him eventually. Yves Bissoma is quite good and that much has been common Premier League knowledge for ages. It’s really weird that he’s been at Brighton for four years and the usual suspects have done sod all about it. Some of those clubs who regularly skim talent from the mid-table or lower have established problems in midfield yet there the Malian remains, being excellent. Arsenal travelled down to the south coast last summer and returned with Benjamin White but still endeavoured to leave themselves one Thomas Partey injury short of an implosion; Manchester City will inevitably sign Marc Cucurella and place their fancy midfield eggs in the Kalvin Phillips basket. Liverpool and Manchester United could do with Bissouma. Probably Spurs, too. It would be great if he stays at Brighton until Graham Potter guides them to the title next season but it’s just not the normal way of things and it absolutely has to be challenged.
Consider that a lovely cushioned header for Gerrard and Aston Villa, who appear to have two priorities in the transfer market: making signings that teams in 17th, 11th and 14th have no right to; and making completely random signings specifically because no-one has reported on them beforehand. Danny Ings, Diego Carlos and Boubacar Kamara out of nowhere. Philippe Coutinho and at least £25m on each of Lucas Digne, Leon Bailey and Emiliano Buendia to parachute them into the general vicinity of a relegation battle. Bissouma dropping five places for a pay rise as Brighton double their initial outlay on a player with a year left on his contract makes no sense but neither have the last two paragraphs.
9) Romelu Lukaku to Inter Milan
The earliest online reference to Romelu Lukaku as ‘the new Drogba’ was in December 2009. It was within a…
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