Being a Premier League manager is, in many ways, not that different from being the CEO of a blue-chip company: You’re in a well-paid, pressurised role in a highly competitive market, supplying your product to a fickle worldwide customer base.
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But what would these men be like if they were not operating in the world of soccer, which most of them have been doing for nearly their entire lives? What if, instead of coaching elite athletes to sporting glory, they held management positions at regular businesses in which they were in charge of normal, 9-to-5 workers in the real world?
Which of the Premier League’s 20 managers would be superstars of the commercial sector, riding a wave of regular promotions, and who would be constantly hanging above the drop zone like Michael Scott?
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Mikel Arteta (Arsenal Direct Marketing)
Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal FC via Getty Images
A popular member of staff at the sharp end of the business not so long ago, Mikel’s triumphant return as office manager was much anticipated and he has not disappointed. A new desk layout is working wonders for creativity, the schedule suits everyone and productivity is up 200%. Unfortunately, this has come at the expense of his previously fun personality which has been replaced by a much more serious, corporate attitude. This new, hard-nosed approach is summed up by a couple of high-profile firings of highly paid employees who were coasting, but now the rest of his young staff know he means business. No one would even think of inviting him for post-work drinks, though.
Steven Gerrard (Aston Villa Auto Parts)
Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images
An absolute legend of the industry in his days on the shop floor at a much bigger, more successful firm. Also well known for once slipping over in the warehouse and knocking rows of shelving over, incurring huge losses. The CCTV footage of the…
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