Chelsea have not learned from their mistake. A year on from Romelu Lukaku they’ve signed a stopgap alternative similarly doomed to fail.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has taken the cursed No.9 shirt at Chelsea, last worn with distinction by Khalid Boulahrouz in 2006. And paying no mind to the irrefutable hex, the 33-year-old literally said the same thing as the last occupier of the monkey-on-the-back garment upon his arrival at Stamford Bridge.
With no hint of irony, a la Romelu Lukaku, Aubameyang said he has “unfinished business in the Premier League”. Is he taking the f***ing p*ss? Someone wake me from this nightmare.
As a Chelsea fan I really hope I’m wrong, but I have zero confidence in Aubameyang being anything other than terrible.
Having thought they had signed the final piece of the puzzle last summer, Lukaku turned out to be the receipt for said incomplete puzzle. Exchange it or stare at a gap left unfilled.
*Hold on to your hats folks, we’ve only just started on this puzzle metaphor. I’m already confused and I’m writing it.*
Now, instead of admitting defeat and forming a different, but not necessarily less impressive puzzle (one without a striker), or spending what would likely be a large sum of money for that all important final piece from finalpieceofthepuzzle.com (on a striker unlikely to keel over in the next two years), Chelsea have taken a cereal box and a pair of those safety scissors with the plastic red handles and attempted to shape a final piece as a stop gap. It doesn’t really fit, it’s coloured in with felt tips and to everyone else it looks like you’ve gone f***ing mental.
Aubameyang has reunited with Thomas Tuchel, and the two shared an admittedly very successful spell at Borussia Dortmund, during which the German boss turned Auba into a striker before he scored a ridiculous 79 goals in 95 games as they formed a close bond.
That, ladies and gentleman, as far as I can work out, is the sole basis for this transfer, and the only reason it may work out.
Yes, he got 11 goals in 17 La Liga games for Barcelona, but he had scored four in 17 for Arsenal before he left. The reason he’s got “unfinished business in the Premier League” is that, like Lukaku, he ended up being sh*t the last time he played in it. And that was for Arsenal, for whom Gabriel Jesus has shown it’s quite easy to score goals. Aubameyang’s now at Chelsea, where unless you take penalties or Reece James smashes one in off your…
Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Football365…